The art of relaxation.

I am relaxed.

Today is probably the first day since I have been here that was solely dedicated to some good old me time and relaxation.  Sigh.  Today was a glorious day.  Beauty.  Breath.  Sun.  Sleep.  Salame.  What could be better? 

I went out to dinner and drinks last night with the Program Assistant, Kelli, (an undergraduate theatre major here who also works a bit for the school).  That was the beginning of a relaxing soon to be Sunday.  After searching for restaurant after restaurant, we finally came upon one that was available for us that I had never been to.  We were hysterical because before that, we would walk into a restaurant and they would look at us and go, "Sorry, we're busy, unless you have a reservation we can't seat you."  This happened three times before making it to where we ended up.  We thought, how very un-American.  They certainly were not going to try and rush their clients out of a relaxing dinner so it was kind of the idea of "we don't know how long it will take before someone leaves so, maybe just find a new place!"  We each had a pizza (mine was with artichokes, prosciutto, olives and mozzarella) and shared a half liter of wine, and then went to a bar and had EXCELLENT mojitos.  We came back pretty early, both tired, I locked up the villa and started getting ready for bed.

When I went to bed I wondered if I should set an alarm.  Seeing as I had nothing to do, no work to get done the following day, I said NO!  The first time I haven't set an alarm!  I usually try and get up and do something productive, even if it's on the weekend, but I thought the most productive thing I could do for myself tomorrow is be "unproductive."  I woke up pretty early (8:30) and thought I must go back to sleep.  So I slept for another couple of hours and awoke to a beautiful day.  It was sunny, a little bit warm with a heavenly breeze.  I spent the whole morning doing NOTHING.  I had an espresso, read, organized my room, and just let myself be lazy.  However, I realized that I had absolutely no food for the day, and was going to have to make it to the grocery store.  So I set off with a couple of people for PAM (the grocery store), was in awe of the festival we discovered on our way.  The park that you pass to get to PAM was having a Festivale di bambini.  A festival of children.  There were all kinds of games, and music, and festivities for the children of Arezzo.  I am amazed by the place children hold in this society.  They are celebrated and adored.  Last night there were little kids out in the streets at midnight, with their families, being scooped up by their fathers and danced with by strangers.  The other day a Tabaccheria was closing up and I managed to stop in just before it was closed for the day, and this little boy, probably around 5, was mopping the floor.  It wasn't like he was forced to mop the floor by his family, he just wanted to, and so this little munchkin who was less than half the size of the mop, was dancing around mopping while everyone smiled in delight at what joy he brought to us all.

I got off topic.  Festival of children of Arezzo.  Amazing!  I went to PAM, bought some delicious treats, some vegetables, cheese, bread, tortellini, meats (salame and prosciutto), a bottle of chianti and balsemic vinegar.  I think that sums up basic food groups of Italy.  Oh...and two apples :)  I made a vow to myself that I would cook dinner by myself, for myself, and with myself.  I needed some space, a bit of distance.  Time to reflect and just be.  I am at the point in my time here where I am starting to feel more and more independant.  I trust the friendships I have made, and am continuing to make, and know that I don't need to be surrounded by people all the time to continue that bond.  And I am finding that I need quiet, relaxation time, in order to be the best version of myself (both with friends and my job).  I came back and had a couple slices of bread topped with pecorino cheese, the kind that has bits of cracked pepper in it (DIVINE) and a mixture of meats.  I also had a handful of olives.  It was perfection.  After I finished eating, I finished up straightening up my room.  I'm still waiting for my laundry to dry.  They do have one dryer here, but people don't really use them.  You hang your clothes up outside if it is sunny and they dry very quickly!  Or, you use these drying racks that we have, which take a little longer.  Everything here takes longer than it does at home.  This is both frustrating and wonderful.  It once again, teaches me to let go and not rush.  I felt like each peice of laundry I was hanging up or folding was representative of me letting go of something.  I know that sounds strange or corny but to take that much time to do something that is for yourself is a simple beauty.  Like getting groceries.  It takes 20 + minutes to walk to the grocery store, and even longer to get back (because it's uphill and you are carrying bags), but there is this sense of accomplishment.  In the moment I always wish I had a car, but when I am done I realize that there is something in this taking your time, this "inconvenience."  Nothing is easy but yet things are so simple here.  It is a shrug your shoulders type of atmosphere...a "what's the big deal" "why hurry" "enjoy"

So once I finished cleaning I was going to either take a walk, or read.  I started reading on top of the Teatrino (theatre), where you can sit on the roof, but it was a bit chillier than I had expected.  The sun was already starting to set and I didn't want to freeze so I thought I would go for a walk.  This walk shifted something in me.  The intuitive that I see at home told me that walks in nature for me, are my form of meditation. 

 I began to walk further and further into the countryside.  Past old Italian homes and stone walls.  I was sandwiched between these walls and vineyards.  I saw horses and heard birds chirping.  The sun was continuing to set as I went on this walk.  I was intoxicated by the autumn air.  I breathed it deeply into my lungs and felt exhilarated by this freshness.  I was watching the leaves fall and reminded of this season and its symbolism of transformation, a period in which I myself am going through.  I found myself with my arms spread out.  I was ready to fly.  Occasional cars would pass me but I was alone.  One with nature.  I danced to the music of the birds and would sometimes close my eyes, trusting that the ground was always there to catch me.  I went to places I had never been before, paths that I had never seen.  I trusted where my intuition was taking me, past farms and houses I had never seen.  I passed a couple of people.  I thought to myself, I am going to say ciao to everyone that I pass.  And so I did. And I was met with smiles and laughter and eye contact with strangers.  I passed by an old man's house/farm and he called out to me, "Buona sera."  I continued walking, around more vineyards, amazed by the grapes and the animals.  I stopped at a little intersection.  I looked around in every direction.  I saw mountains, and trees, incredible houses, and the light changing from day to night.  I was in awe.  I was in touch with that Divine spirit I am so curious to awaken in me.  I felt this surge of energy from above the crown of my head travelling all the way down my body, through my toes and through the ground.  I was moved to tears.  They were not tears of sadness, or even happiness for that matter, they just came.  I felt chills.  I felt powerful and grounded and in touch with nature and the world.  Interesting how even though I was completely by myself in the middle of Tuscany, in the country, I felt more connected than ever.  I decided to walk back.  I said hello to the birds and continued to let my arms fly in appreciation for this moment.  Wholeness.  It exists!  I couldn't help but laugh when I saw the horses...I was tickled by this walk in nature.  By the beauty it filled me with.  I felt like I was in a novel.  In all the chaos I found my center.  I got back to my apartment and felt like it was a dream.  Nature truly is my meditation, my relaxation.  And so I bless this moment in time, this beautiful Earth, and the power I found in solitude.  I am looking forward to making my dinner.  Ricotta and spinach stuffed tortellini with tomato sauce.  And of course a glass of wine.

May the light within me, touch the light within you.  To the Sacred in all of us.

Namaste.